So I’ve been in San Francisco almost 2 months now, and its been a rollercoaster ride to say the least. At least once a day I think to myself ‘I can’t believe I’m living in San Francisco’. Most of the days, I feel like I’m living the dream. This crazy, exciting Californian dream that one day I’ll wake up from. I walk around the building I work in, thinking how lucky I am to be able to work in the industry I studied so hard to be apart of. I’m so thankful to be apart of such a strong (and all female, may I add) concept team, who all regard my input and from who I’m learning so much. I’m proud of myself, for getting me to this place, and for taking it all in my stride. But its been tough, in many ways. And the challenges I’m facing also enter my head, everyday.
After living here for nearly two weeks, while out having a lunch with my team from work, I had my purse stolen...yep...straight from my bag. This was a low point. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m pretty vigilant when it comes to things like this, and would never carelessly leave my stuff unattended, so this (as you can imagine) was pretty annoying to say the least. This would be more than a horrible experience for anyone, let alone someone new to the country. UK bank cards, brand new US bank cards, my provisional drive license (my regularly used form of I.D), a lovely black patent Ted Baker purse- all gone because I let my guard down in a new place for the first time. At this point I knew, and was told by many that, San Francisco is a very difficult place to live. Its lovely, and happy and full of life but like any major city, has its flaws.
But shit like this in life is sent to try us, and I really believe this. It didn’t kill me (and was quickly resolved after shedding a few tears and a quick trip to the bank), and it made me stronger. Learning curve!
I miss my family. My family are my world. Ask anyone. We’ve shared so many experiences together, I’m finding it hard that I can’t easily share with them the experience I’m having on my own. Time-difference sucks! FaceTime does not, shout out! And WhatsApp, huge shout out to WhatsApp! But it’s something I try not to think about daily, and most of the time I’m so busy I honestly don’t have time, as unusual as that may sound. But when I do, it’s okay, because I’m beyond lucky to have them. So missing them is allowed.
I recently watched a video by youtuber Estee Lalonde, Canada born but now a London based fashion&beauty blogger who talked about living away from home and family in a somewhat recent ‘Stuff you don’t know about me’ upload. She commented on how it doesn’t get easier living away from home, you just learn to deal with it better. And thats how I feel. And hearing it from someone else made me feel like I’m not alone. It sucks being way from home, and my family, and friends, but I want to be here more than anything. San Francisco is my home for the time being and I’m doing all I can to make and feel like home...and you know what, it is starting to feel like home.
And at the end of 2016, I received some heartbreaking news that I’m still struggling to come to terms with. This has been the hardest for me to deal with while being here, and it is only amplified by the fact I’m unable to be with my family. I know time is the best healer, and although things are difficult to deal with right now- it will get easier.
If you’d have told me a year ago that I’d being doing what I’m doing now, I’d never have believed it! This really is a dream come true and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I know I will find things difficult at times, but these are all things I must face in order to become a stronger person. Life is the longest thing you will experience, so you must make the most of it.
I have so much to gain from being here, and San Francisco has so much to offer me, and I’m going to take full advantage of it in 2017!
It’s been the new year for a little over a week. And I don’t normally make a point of having New Years resolutions, most of the time I feel I make unrealistic goals that don't stick, and I spend the rest of the year like ‘Starting Monday I’ll...’. What a waste of time! But I wanted to come up with some resolutions that I can at least attempt to keep throughout the year, however big or small they may be, and look back on in a years time- and see if I actually did stick to them...
12 Resolutions for 12 months-
My New Years Resolutions
Blog more! And that just what I'm trying to do. I really enjoy blogging, and I love having something to focus on outside of work. I really want to make something of my blog this year, so I’m going to try to put everything last minute I have into making it better. The goal? Two posts a week! Lets see how I get on...
I want to draw! I really got into drawing in 2016, and improved quite a bit! I really striving to do weekly sketches. That probably sounds like a lot, or not very much- but I think a goal to do it every week, taking the time to sketch or illustrate is important. It will help with my creativity and can be used at work too! And if it end up being more than once a week, great!! (Really don’t see this happening)
I going to try to make a point to listening to music! I love music, it means a lot to me. But I find myself not listening so music in the way I did before I moved out here, which is crazy! I’ll listen to current stuff, or the odd song as I get ready but I want to take more time to just listen to all my favourites, and possibly discover some new stuff along the way. (Don’t know where I’ll be finding the time to do all these things!)
Yoga! I love it, I miss it, it’s so relaxing and is great exercise. Can do it from the comfort of my bedroom and there is no one there to look at my red face! Although I am thinking of joining a class, where everyone would see my red face. Rain check!
Walking! Probably sounds pretty silly as I live in a city and don’t drive so all I do is walk (with the occasional uber) but you see so much walking around, exploring areas and I want to make a point of doing this. These San Francisco hills will make this one interesting!
Take more photographs! This is one of the reasons why I started my blog. I really wanted to get back into photography and I thought starting a blog would be a great way to do this. It definitely worked, as I take my camera out with me more than ever! But I want to take more picture, not just to go on the blog but in general. I’m going to put time into my Instagram and make it a great outlet for my creativity and to share my interests. (Sorry for the spam posting in advance!)
I’m going to embrace my style. I obviously love fashion, and could look at fashion blogs, magazines and Pinterest posts all day but I’d also like to put the same effort into my own style. Don't get me wrong, I’m not going to go crazy with in- black and navy will forever be my fave combo, but I want my style to be more fun and carefree. Fashion isn't a serious thing, it should be fun!
I’m going to try and work on my self confidence. It’s come a long way in the past year, but I’m always second guessing myself. I know I’m never going to be the most confident person in the room but whether its at work- giving presentations, airing my opinions, or just with who I am as a person- be confident with it! Time for a little self discovery.
I want to read more! I enjoy reading, when I do...and there is so much to take from reading.I just struggle to find books that get me interested. But I want to reading more in all capacities, whether its books or magazines, or blogs. I’ve not bought a magazine in the long time, lets start there!
I’m going to begin doing charity work/volunteering. Something I’ve really wanted to do for a while. Fortunately there is a lot of opportunity to do this through my company, and once I’m settled in our new apartment I will begin to explore what I can do for others. I’m incredible lucky and privileged to be living the life I am and I’d love to give something back.
Balance! This covers everything- healthy eating, exercising, all that good stuff- but life is all about balance. I want to try and save money, it’s going to be an expensive year but I’m not going to stop myself from buying some new clothes every so often, or stick to a strict diet and never allow myself to enjoy things- keeping it balanced is the best way for me to reach my goals. Sometimes I’m too strict with myself, sometimes....I’m really not.
Lastly...to just ENJOY! Enjoy everything for what it is. Whether it’s the small things, something insignificant or something big...enjoy it, take the best from it and learn from it. Is this me trying to be a better person, probably...worth a shot!
The (trivial) things I’m missing
The cold weather. I know that sounds really stupid, and I’m always the first to complain about being cold but I do miss a crisp, winters morning. And I love getting all wrapped up in winter, I have enough scarves to prove it. It’s not exactly boiling hot here, it can be chilly but nothing like winter in the UK.
Marks&Spencer! and I talk about it every chance I get! Everything is expensive out here, food especially. It’s crazy prices, and there isn't really a cheaper, but good quality alternative out here. What I’d do for a dine in for £10 and some Percy pigs!
Nothing beats British television! It really is the best and something I took totally for granted. I didn’t realize how much British culture is centered around tv and how much I love that! Whether it’s the Bake off (RIP), Strictly (goodbye Len), Christmas programming, a great crime drama, god..even the soaps (I’m my mother’s daughter)- it’s all so...pleasant to watch. And easy! When you turn on the telly in the UK, guaranteed there is something on, or just something to have on in the background. Here, between the back to back films (great in the beginning) and the endless adverts, I don’t think I’ve watched an actual TV program- and definitely not a program that wasn’t a rerun. I feel like I’m at uni again, when we didn’t want to buy a TV license- although at least then I had BBC iplayer! This will have to change!
The (trivial) things I’m not missing
The cold, I know I just said I this is something I’m missing, but I’m equally not missing it. I don’t miss the struggle of getting out of bed in the early morning because it’s too cold to move. Haven't experienced that here, and don't think I will any time soon- this, I like!
That British way! I love being British, all that sarcasm and weird sense of humor but sometimes we are just too introverted. Don't get my wrong, I’ve not come to San Francisco and only encountered gentle people, but I have to say, all in all, most people are very friendly, and incredible helpful. In shops, people on the street, people you share a lift with. Nice people who are happy to talk to you, for no other reason than to be nice. How soppy of me!